Kumar in Trouble

When Kal Pen (aka Kumar of the great movie, Harold & Kumar go to White Castle) left the beautiful people of Hollywood to spend time with the bottom-feeding parasites in DC, he received some praise for serving his country or something. But now a FOIA request has revealed that he was mixed up in the recent NEA scandal which forced its Communications Director into resignation. From Washington Examiner (h/t Jammie):

Former actor and present White House associate director of public engagement Kalpen Modi was directly involved in planning the controversial conference call hosted by a National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) flack to encourage tax-supported artists to create propaganda for President Obama, according to emails obtained by Judicial Watch via a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

Uhoh, making trouble for Hollywood's messiah, that'll probably get you blacklisted. Which is unfortunate, because I thought Kal Pen was a great actor. Well, he'll always have the ability to write crummy HuffPo articles alongside all the other has-been celebrities.

Our Longstanding Corrupt Practices

USA Today had a well-researched article about all the political appointees in the Obama administration who just happened to have fundraised over $100,000 for the campaign. But, for some reason, the story generated less interest in the blogosphere than the 25th anniversary of Ice Pirates. I don't know if it's because the article was in the Mikky-D's press, or because the practice is so common amongst both parties that none of the partisan operatives dare criticize, or because there was other corruption allegations that stole the limelight. But it seems like we just brush it aside as "business as usual" in Washington and wonder why the government is being run by incompetent boobs whose only purpose in life is to make speeches and false promises.

I doubt Nathan Lane feels threatened

This nudibranch apparently thinks it's the cutest thing on the block just because it's the neon equivalent of a drama kid. Prancing around the ocean like you have a spine doesn't mean you should pose jazz-hands style like you're in a college production of Fame, asshole.

Talk about cheesy. Was this the nudibranch's headshot for auditions? I've got news for you, Nudibranch, no one is looking for an overenthusiastic mollusk to take Broadway by storm. I hope you're good at pouring coffee, because I see a bright future for you in table-waiting.

Is there anything more defeating than cute bats?

Baby Bat, you are destroying my ability to successfully categorize safe animals and animals that want me to drop whatever I am doing and make sure they are comfortable and happy. You are supposed to be trying to suck my blood or finding your way out of a cave using radio waves or Google maps or whatever. Instead you are like a big-eyed baby deer crossed with a webbed monkey sucking on a pacifier. You're really little, too, aren't you? There's nothing in this picture that I can compare you to, but I get the sense you're something disgusting like a pound and a half. I bet you would fit in my hand and then look up at me and I wouldn't even be able to check to make sure you aren't going to turn into a vampire. Fucking bats. At least they aren't thriving, I mean, who would raise bats in large groups?

Oh shit. Why do I even bother?

UN Continues to Make a Mockery of Itself

NYC: Downgraded to Totalitarian Backwater

Not that there's anything wrong with the UN Millennium Development Goals, I mean, who doesn't support ending poverty and world hunger? It's just a bit odd about how the entire organization takes its approach. After the UN Human Rights Council recognized "exceptions" to freedom of speech to appease Islamic dictators, and thinking that letting a thug like Ahmadinejad have the podium would be a swell idea, they now have their sights set on that miserable, hellhole of humanity...New York City. From NY Times:

The United Nations Human Rights Council appoints a rapporteur, or independent experts, to investigate human rights conditions around the world. In the case of Ms. Rolnik, a professor of urban planning at the University of Sao Paulo in Brazil, her “mission” is to tour New York City and six other places in the United States and to report back to the United Nations General Assembly about housing rights violations and advances.

After that, “We send off letters to governments to ask, ‘Is this true? What’s going on?’ and to please intervene,” she said.

This is a great use of my tax dollars. Yes, NYC is expensive, as any American could tell you. Maybe they can ask why I had to pay $20 for a wireless connection at a hotel in Manhattan that was already $250 a night for a wedding I went to last year. They could even appoint Muammar Qaddafi to preside over the investigation instead of looking into human rights abuses like child soldiers, refugees being brutally killed, and other minor issues.

Honky-Land

There's an interesting article at New Geography that has angered progressives which challenges the assumptions on America's liberal bastions (Portland, Denver, Seattle, etc.). The author cites facts and figures which concludes that all the cities hipsters love to champion have more crackers than a Jack Johnson concert:

This may explain why most of the smaller cities of the Midwest and South have not proven amenable to replicating the policies of Portland. Most Midwest advocates of, for example, rail transit, have tried to simply transplant the Portland solution to their city without thinking about the local context in terms of system goals and design, and how to sell it. Civic leaders in city after city duly make their pilgrimage to Denver or Portland to check out shiny new transit systems, but the resulting videos of smiling yuppies and happy hipsters are not likely to impress anyone over at the local NAACP or in the barrios.

I would humbly suggest removing barriers and red tape to small businesses for urban revitalization, which seems to have been doing a good job in facilitating newly-arrived Americans to overcome poverty ever since Jamestown was founded in 1607. But, I don't have a Masters in Urban Planning, and I'm sure all those Green Jobs and more bike lanes that progressives love to champion will help the Latino immigrant community achieve middle-class prosperity.

Confiscated for evidence

This blog is now the property of the Antarctic Police Department. Once everything is bagged and tagged in a few days it will be released back into the internet wild.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Penguin Donates Millions to Charity!

I thought everyone else would be as interested in this story as I was. Who knew penguins were so selfless?

(AP)

Penguinville, ANTARCTICA - Moments after emerging from his father's fat fold, a baby emperor penguin donated his entire inheritance to human-focused charities. While the money went to a number of different non-profit organizations, the bulk of the money was donated to PETAP (Penguins for the Ethical Treatment of Actual People). "This is a great day for human/penguin relations," said a real person, who was using their fingers to do something complex as they spoke, "we've always known penguins were totally great and didn't at all deserve the negative press they've been getting recently. But it's nice to have it confirmed."

When reached for comment, the baby penguin had only nice things to say about humans. "I think people understand that we can only do so much to avoid being cute in certain circumstances. This is simply just the way we were born. The fact that so many people are thoughtful about our circumstances and try their best to look the other way means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to my fellow penguins. This is just my way of saying thank you."

This is really a different way of thinking about penguins isn't it? That charity is great, because it is specifically targeted to actual humans like you and me! Now I am going to go put some pants on (one leg at a timing, right guys?!) and put more thought into all this new light that's been shed on the penguin.

Leopard seals think it's cute to senselessly murder

This leopard seal thinks it is so cute that he can lift one flipper up and lean to the side like it's just about to roll its fat ass over. Well, ha. Fucking. Ha. It's so funny to tear penguins apart limb from limb. WHAT DID PENGUINS EVER DO TO YOU, LEOPARD SEAL? Except love you, Leopard Seal. I knew a penguin once (that was definitely not me because I am, as everyone who reads this blog knows, definitely human) that would sit back and say, "you know, a lot of penguins hate the leopard seal. But not me. Because I forgive the leopard seal. I want to understand the leopard seal's desperation, and why it gets to this point in life where it seems like the only option is to eat a penguin."

These are the kinds of complex shades of morality that a simple leopard seal simply cannot understand. So fuck you, Leopard Seal. Next time I see a penguin I am going to give it a big hug, and I recommend everyone reading this blog do the same.

BAREFOOT BEAUTY

Currently Listening To: You and I Both - Jason Mraz

Sienna Miller

Isn't she the cutest? Love this look, and it's definitely appropriate since I'm back in Florida! Love it here! Finally away from the freezing cold :) Have a great week! xo

Image source: justjared

Richard Nixon Would Be Proud

Politico:

Obama aides are using their powerful White House platform, combined with techniques honed in the 2008 campaign, to cast some of the most powerful adversaries as out of the mainstream and their criticism as unworthy of serious discussion.

Here's to our tax dollars being put to good use. Cheers!

Our National Boneheadedness

An article in Reuters points out something that absolutely no politician in America wants to say (unless of course it's a boring Ron Paul monologue), America's entitlement spending is sending it into collapse. This article is in reference to the $250 checks for old people to keep them from making trouble:

Two examples — one ridiculously expensive, one just ridiculous. But both reveal a nation completely unwilling to deal with current trillion-dollar deficits or long-term shortfalls many multiples of that number.

What confidence should dollar investors have that America will really cut entitlement spending? Very little. Instead, we are more likely to see huge tax increases that could cripple productivity, or further dollar neglect, or a central bank that turns dovish on inflation. Or perhaps all three.

If Washington doesn’t care to support the dollar, why should investors?

But who cares about the long-term economic stability when you can demonize Fox news for another news-cycle to distract the public. Politicians could care less about long-term viability and only seem to give two shits about pleasing their pet interests so they have campaign cash for the next go-around. But sooner or later, we have to blame ourselves for continuously electing these yahoos.

HELP

People, a penguin has kidnapped me. I was on a hot air balloon trip and I crashed in Antarctica and he captured me and forced me to give him my password. DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING HE SAYS! Please, call the police and tell them to immediately fly down to the south pole and look for a white door cut out of the ground. It's made out of ice, you can't miss it. I'm right in there!!! Hurry... Oh, God, he's coming!


UPDATE: Haha, wasn't this a funny idea for a post? As if penguins would even kidnap anyone, they don't even have guns because they are a peace-loving species! Why, the only way I could think of to kidnap a human would be to hack into the directional apparatus on their craft so they were forced down in your general vicinity, peck at their calf muscles so they could not run away, then drag them into a secret lair which had been created for just such an occasion where the "penguin" would then be able to keep the human at bay using a highly complex system of ropes and pulleys. Now how realistic does that sound? Not very likely, I hope.

Anyway, back to the blog!

Penguins: not so bad??!!

^^They seem nice enough...^^

I learned some things on my vacation that made me think penguins are not everything I've made them out to be in my other posts that I personally wrote and that were definitely not written by someone else that I am now pretending to be. I also ate a lot of different kinds of food on my vacation that humans like me really love, like cow, peanut jelly, and seal. In fact, I found seal to be extremely delicious. People should really eat seal more often. Anyway, did you know these things:

1. Penguins actually can fly, but they choose not to do so because they don't want humans to think that penguins believe they are better than everyone.
2. Penguins have the highest percentage of church attendance in the animal kingdom. Unless you don't like that sort of thing, in which case they are agnostic leaning towards secular humanism.
3. Penguins love NASCAR because it puts them in touch with their working class roots.
4. There has never been an incidence of any penguin using the term "Bros before hos."
5. While there are a small percentage of penguins that hog the spotlight, the vast majority are private birds who just want to live their lives and avoid hurting humans.

I mean, this was a real revelation for me, considering that I am a person and I previously did not really care for penguins. I am going to have to really think this over while I drive my car and wear clothes, you know, like a normal guy.

Fucking penguins, right fellow humans?

Hey, everyone! I'm back from vacation where I was doing all the thing that humans like to do! I went to the aquarium, ate lots of chicken, and totally walked one foot in front of the other. It was the best! But I'm back now, and it's time to start back in on those damn penguins. Look at this guy, right? I mean, what a little fucking show-off. HEY PENGUIN, NOT EVERYONE CAN BE SO AWESOME, KIND, AND THOUGHTFUL. Jeez, what is it about penguins that makes them think they can get away with being so personable when they aren't even people? I met this one penguin on my vacation, and he had the nerve to show me around his colony, cook up a nice meal of krill for me, and even show me a bootleg copy of the outtakes from March of the Penguins they had to keep out of the movie to avoid a NC-17 rating. It was probably the most fun I've ever had, and I never wanted to leave.

Penguins, I'll tell you. Thank God I'm not a penguin. That would be totally not true. Thank God we're all not penguins, right people?

Press Releases on Anita Dunn Make For Boring Journalism

Here's a real schnoozer of an article on Anita Dunn, the White House Communications Director, that has more hot air than the Balloon Boy odyssey. From a lengthy piece in the Washington Post:

With her CNN appearance on Sunday attacking Fox News as "a wing of the Republican Party," the White House dispatched its communications director to make one of its most aggressive salvos, in part because she alone in the communications department can withstand the blowback.

"She's tough, she knows how to handle herself in the national media, she's not intimidated by it and she enjoys the fray," said David Gergen, a former White House communications director. "It surprised me to see Anita Dunn out there, but if you are going to do it, go with your pro, and she's your pro."

Yawn. Nothing in the article about her husband's attempt to silence free speech during the Obama campaign, and nothing about the criticism Beck has brought up by citing quotes from mass murderers. Just a lame puff piece about how awesome she is and how it's justifiable for government officials to shut down Fox News like some Hugo Chavez public affairs strategy.

Dow 10,000: Let's Party Like It's 1999

Crank up the Hanson, buy some more shares in Pets.com, and pop the champagne, because it's 1999 all over again. Similar to March 1999, the Dow has gone above the 10,000 mark (again), and you can watch this retro CNBC video if you don't believe me. But, Peter Schiff drops a big turd in the party punchbowl by saying that the Dow is up because the dollar is in the crapper, and there's no real recovery in sight.

Eh, well.

Politics Makes for Strange Bedfellows (sometimes Gay)

Gay Patriot has an article in Pajamas Media about how gay liberals are perpetually disappointed by the politicians they help elect. This is in reference to how much ass-dragging is happening with the Obama administration on Don't Ask Don't Tell:

And Americans have become increasingly aware that the gay community does not speak with one voice. Nor does it march it lockstep to the tune of the Democratic Party.

Military.com notes that, contrary to conventional wisdom, it would actually require an act of Congress instead of just an order from the White House. But, it still seems as though Obama is waffling on a campaign promise that he could easily fulfill.

It's correct when Gay Patriot notes that gay issues aren't exclusively the realm of the democratic party. Some fellow reich-wingers have publicly stated that DADT has got to go including Ed Morrissey, CDR Salamander, and even the Sniper (no shit, the Sniper). I for one am for the repeal of the DADT, simply for the sake of no more awkward powerpoints for our troops during GMT sessions.

Shut Up and Drink the Kool Aid!

You really have to feel sorry for our intellectual betters sometimes. After suffering through an awkward adolescence of getting pantsed and watching the quarterback pull all the tail in high school, they can't even get any respect in their adult lives. With the information age well upon us, any slack-jawed rube with a 'puter can tear down their policies they seek to enact over the rest of the country.

That's just one possible explanation for this no-good, terrible Op-Ed where Neal Gabler, last spotted calling everyone not on Team Obama McCarthyites, simply resorts to calling Americans a generally stupid lot for not trusting their government all the time. Not to overuse the "elitist" meme, but this is pretty up there. From Boston.com:

There is something bizarre about a country whose leaders have constantly to toady to their constituents and in which any criticism is tantamount to a lack of patriotism, but that describes America today. Every politician feels compelled to ape Jimmy Carter’s old words to the point where our alleged greatness has also become our national mantra.

Like it would be better if politicians didn't bother listening to their constituents and we had power-hungry madmen making all the decisions for us. That alternative had devastating consequences for much of the world's citizens during the 20th century, and I would suggest that a good deal skepticism towards the government is necessary for a nation's survival.

This editorial is clearly a response to the fevered populist piss-offedness that has gripped our country and prevented the sychophants of the Obama administration from getting everything they wanted. However, it wasn't Bubba Joe at the assembly plant that fucked up the economy, but eggheads like this guy. Why don't they engage in some self-assessment of their own policies before denouncing the frustration of our society at the moment.

MOTORCYCLES && BOYS

Currently Listening To: Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys

Model: Toni Garnn
Numero Tokyo November 2009

Whoever styled this shoot is a genius.

Image source: modelcouture

New Liberal Agenda: Let the Dollar Collapse, All Hail Inflation

It's a bit of a concern when the top blogger from the influential Center for American Progress advocates that a weakened dollar would be a good thing for the country. From Yglesias:

Meanwhile, the interests of American tourists aside, a falling dollar is exactly what the American economy needs. It’s a way of, in effect, driving wage levels down to a level at which increasing employment is economical and getting us out of current sky-high unemployment. Of course for the same reason foreign central banks will want to bolster the value of the dollar in order to prevent unemployment from rising in Europe and Asia. I think the real risk here, however, is that foreigners will go to far in terms of trying to sustain an unsustainable situation and ultimately prompt a bigger breakdown.

I understand that Keynesian economics focuses on massive spending programs to get the country through tough times, but how is turning the dollar into monopoly money going to do anything but lower the standard of living and piss off the Chinese. True, it's a natural market correction that the dollar is dropping into the crapper, but doesn't that have to do with the federal government printing too much money? Maybe, the President and Congress should, you know, stop pissing away the taxpayer's money like the world was going to end.

I don't pretend to understand this crap, but I do know that I made the decision to convert all the surplus dollars I had into Thai Baht, and a lot of other people are buying gold like it was nude pictures of Megan Fox. Yes, I chose a country's currency where a coup could break out at any minute over Uncle Sam's money. Yes, that means I am allied with the Taliban and Hamas, and I'm sorry for that, but I've got to live off this money. Ever since we nixed the gold standard in the 70s, money has been backed by the credibility of the US government, and that credibility isn't looking too promising at the moment.

Must Have Been a Slow Year in the Peace Business

Uh, aren't you supposed to actually do something to win the Nobel Peace Prize (see the 2006 Nobel Prize winner Muhammad Yunus, who actually accomplished quite a bit besides running a presidential campaign). Shit, at least Al Gore made a half-ass documentary. Politico cites the reason:

"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future," the committee said. "His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world's population."

But what major foreign policy breakthroughs has he accomplished, not just promised to accomplish? If these are the standards for winning the award, then Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas" should've won it every year. And, yes, this post obviously means I hate America.

I Bet They Didn't Think He Was a Milblogger!

It's difficult to explain what it's like to be a vet these days. Flat-out bigotry is rare. But, veterans seem to be like this politically-correct class of society that many folks seem to pity and avoid acknowledging because of some guilt complex...which is unfortunate. A disturbing disconnect from the warrior class and society at large can mean big trouble down the road, and at the very least leads to awkward situations like this. From CJ at A Soldier's Perspective:

Since I know that you spineless bastards in the school system are reading this, be prepared for a lawsuit! You were way out of line in bringing my personal life and my struggles with PTSD into a dispute with the school on the uniform policy. UNIFORM POLICY, FOLKS!! Where do you get off contacting the military about a private citizen matter? If I worked for Wal-Mart, would you have called the management there? If I were a REAL threat to anyone at that meeting, you should have called the police, not the military.

Despite the big game that CJ talks at his blog, I have met him personally and he is an extremely nice fellow. So it is a bit surprising that a dispute over his child's wardrobe at school would warrant a phone call from officials to his chain of command. A lot of veterans have PTSD, and it doesn't mean they are going to go run around the school screaming about Charlie coming over the wire like some Oliver Stone movie. But it is indicative of the growing divide in our American society.

The Great Paulson Puke Saga of 2008

Reason notes that the criticism from Andrew Sorkin of the Masters of the Universe on Wall Street that ruined our country is subtle, but it pretty much shows that the cronyism between Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and the feds was worse than a Skull and Bones meeting. The piece is very informative, although somewhat dry. However, he does throw in this little tidbit to make people without MBAs happy:

Paulson, who had been living on barely three hours of sleep a night for a week, was beginning to feel nauseated. Watching the financial industry crumble in front of his eyes—the world he had inhabited his entire career—was getting to him. For a moment, he felt light-headed.

From outside his office, his staff could hear him vomit.

At least there is a little justice in this world.

The Case of the Uppity General

A lot of hand-wringing has taken place regarding General McChrystal's controversial comments regarding policy in Afghanistan. I'll take the uncontroversial view that being governed by a military junta might not be a good thing as Eugene Robinson explains:

How to proceed in Afghanistan will be among the most difficult and fateful decisions that President Obama ever makes. But he's the one who has to decide, not his generals. The men with the stars on their shoulders -- and I say this with enormous respect for their patriotism and service -- need to shut up and salute.

Gen. Stanley McChrystal, the commander of U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan, is entitled to his opinion about the best way forward. But he has no business conducting a public campaign to build support for his preferred option, which is to send tens of thousands more troops into a country once called the "graveyard of empires."

Some folks on the left say that the top general in Afghanistan only sees things through his "own narrow experience", which probably means another General Betrayus type ad from Moveon.org is coming soon to a newspaper near you. But taking the position that elected leaders should be responsible over the military does not categorically place you with the Code Pink crowd. However, in any chain-of-command, you hope and pray that those appointed over you are competent, have their priorities straight, and have your interests at heart. And, the President devoting his time and political capital to the 2016 Olympics, command-and-control economics, and not to the rapidly worsening Afghanistan situation doesn't inspire a lot of confidence.

Not Having the Olympic Fever Cause for Treason?

Strange Sports Always Won by Europeans Not Coming to Chicago

If calling Obama's plea at Copenhagen a gigantic waste of time is tantamount to Hanoi Jane, the concept of patriotism and nationalism sort of loses all meaning. Because, not supporting Obama's cronies in Chicago from feasting on an overburdened taxpayer to construct shoddy facilities for the Olympics is hardly grounds for being a moran, IMHO. Jonn has the last word on this:

You know who really lost today? Those folks we’ve sent to Afghanistan. Out of the 15 hours the President spent in Denmark, General McCrystal got 25 minutes with him. Imagine that; all of the time he spent on getting the Olympics brought to Chicago - seven years from now (apparently three years after Obama will be out office if he keeps acting like this) - he spent twenty five minutes with the guy fighting his war for him.

Oh well, highly important priorities like Ballroom Dancing will have to be done somewhere else.