After kangaroos ruined their future and I discovered that wombats are all the same, I didn't think it could get any worse than a fucking koala. I WAS WRONG, TREE KANGAROO. The fuzzy fur and the weird ears, okay, but what's with the leafy greens? HAVE SOME FUCKING MANNERS, TREE KANGAROO.
The key with these assholes is to keep your distance, as this guy learned in an all-too-real way. He has yet to stop grinning like that. And the tree kangaroo? It just wanders around the reserve going up to unsuspecting volunteers saying "Hey, you wanna hold me? I'll change your life." Well, fuck you, Tree Kangaroo. I'm happy with my wombat. I don't need your cheap thrills.
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