This baby gorilla got rejected by its mom, and you can totally see why. In fact, I'm not even sure why I'm featuring this ugly bastard on this blog. I mean, look at this kid. WHO COULD EVER LOVE THAT???!!! When I looked at this picture, I threw up a little bit.
San Francisco Zoo: Don't bother trying to help this miserable loser. Send him to me and I will "take care of him." You don't need to know about what I'll do, just know you'll never have to worry about looking at him again. In fact, send me this, too. And one of these. And anyone else you want to send me really. Trust me: you do not want to fuck with these animals. Leave it up to a professional.
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