WHY MARK PRIOR CAN'T CATCH A BREAK

Mark Prior’s hurt again. I swear to God. It’s like a bad bad joke. I suggest he cut all ties with Nick Johnson immediately, this is ridiculous. Prior was scheduled to pitch yesterday, but because of what seems to be a sore shoulder, they scratched his pitching appearance. Read about it HERE.

When does a player decided that enough’s enough? Mark Prior, who has fought his way through arm surgery, soreness, groin pulls and who knows what else has to think that he’s getting Punk’ed right now and Ashton Kutcher’s about to pop up in Tampa and laugh his balls off. But it’s not that simple. Clearly Mark Prior’s body’s not working right. The Associated Press reports that he was supposed to pitch in a Gulf Coast League game and because of that soreness, they decided to give it a few days. Let’s hope it’s just a few days.

Look, I wrote about my love for Mark Prior in THE PATIENCE OF MARK PRIOR. Maybe I should just cut ties with my obessession, it’s clear this guy may not make an appearance this year. But yes, it’s true, because of Prior’s drive and dedication to make it, I can’t walk away just yet. Now look, if he comes back from this injury and suddenly gets hit by a truck, I really have to rethink this. For now, I have some strict ground rules for Mark Prior getting back to the Bigs:

• Prior must stay in the bubble and only come out if there is a catcher 6o feet 6 inches away.
  
  
• He must make sure it’s at least 75 degrees and sunny and he needs to wear sunscreen.
• Prior must make sure your shoes are tied, or better yet, get Velcro cleats.
• He make be sure the mound is manicured and there is no rosin bag. We don’t want him to trip over it.
  
  
• Only throw 5 pitches, that’s safe.
  
  
• He should wear sunglasses. We don’t want dirt to accidently get kicked in his eyes.
  
  
• When Prior's finished throwing, he needs to walk slowly to the dugout. DO NOT step on the foul line. Instead, he needs to step over it. I’m supersticious.

Mark, I hope you read Bleeding Yankee Blue and yes, I know it’s got to be frustrating at this point but we have to laugh. It’s pure comedy. How does someone get hurt as much as you and NOT laugh. Sorry Eric Chavez, I forgot about you.

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