Thursday, February 26, 2009

Crossbreed kittens are genetically engineered to fuck shit up


Kitten, they created you so you could be a Persian cat without long hair, but what they didn't predict was you sticking your fucking head out of that bed and making a face which is pretty much the worst thing I've ever seen. You are like the Natasha Henstridge in Species of cute. I would blame the misguided souls that made you, but I'm not entirely convinced you couldn't just keep it together and lead a normal cat life. For example, why are you looking at the camera? And Jesus Christ, stop fucking frowning. You have your whole life ahead of you!

And then I find out you have your own blog? And it's in Japanese! Uh-uh, learning how to use Flash, I believe, BUT THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY YOU KNOW JAPANESE, KITTEN, IT'S A REALLY HARD LANGUAGE TO LEARN. Something is going on here, Kitten. I'm going to find out what it is. So get ready, Kitten, I'll give you something to frown about.

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