Monday, February 2, 2009

Don't listen to groundhogs


I know your secret, Groundhog. You've had a free ride for way too long. Newsbreak: Groundhogs do not know how to predict the weather. It was inevitable that people would start to catch on, since you have to switch it up every now and then to keep people guessing, but every year the spring continues to arrive at the same time. You've only been able to last this long because of the teeth, Groundhog, those damn teeth, taunting me with their prominence. But those teeth cannot save you for long, because if you don't put them away, I am definitely going to see my shadow. And then it's going to be a long, cold winter for you, Groundhog. And it's going to last you the rest of your life.

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